In Merlin's Shadow #2

Roxanne and her father Emrys finished their silent dinner and Roxanne had begun to fill the kitchen sink with hot water when a knock at the door disturbed their usual silence.
"I'll get it!" Emrys said He opened the door to find a young man at the door.
"Yes?" Emrys asked curtly "What do you want?"
Roxanne's curiosity brought her to her dad's side before the young man could respond and her gasp of recognition alerted her father that Roxanne knew him."Who are you and what do you want?" Emrys asked gruffly and glanced at the boy's brilliant blue eyes.
"Dad, please don't be rude." Roxanne pleaded."I'm sorry for disturbing you sir, I realize…" The young man began
"Leave off the flattery please. I know you're here for Roxanne." Emrys interrupted.
"Daddy. Please, your not letting him answer." Roxanne pleaded again as she stepped closer to the screen door that separated her from this fellow she had met in the library earlier that day.
"Well, sir," He began again."I met your daughter in the library today. Oh," He said realizing he hadn't answered the questions, "I'm sorry I'm not answering your original question. My name is Joseph and well, I met your daughter, Roxanne…" He paused after saying Roxanne because he had never said her name before. He wanted to taste it and remember it forever. He smiled to her and for her."It's a lovely name, isn't it?" Joseph said dreamily to her but realized again that her father was the gate keeper so he turned his gaze back to Emrys.
"Roxanne is a lovely name sir isn't it? You named her well" His sheepish grin made Emrys furious."Get on with it. I have allot to do and so does Roxanne." Emrys interrupted again and noticed Joseph's face with sun-tanned freckles across his cheekbones and Joseph's wild red hair sticking up in more directions than Emrys thought legal. Emrys wanted to hate the boy but there was something familiar about him too. Something that made him feel safe and almost warm inside. So, Emrys decided to push him away as soon as the possibility presented itself. "Well, my name is Joseph sir." "I am not deaf?" Emrys interrupted trying to make Joseph look stupid to Roxanne. "You have already established your name for us, Joseph." Emrys emphasized the name Joseph in a nasty way and Roxanne wanted to hit him for it. "Maybe," Emrys added noticing Joseph's attention upon Roxanne. "If you stop undressing my daughter with your eyes you can state your business and leave us the hell alone."
"Dad!" Roxanne said alarmed.Joseph's face reddened as much as Roxanne's.
"Sir, I would never. I …" Joseph stammered uncomfortably."Sir," Joseph tried again after taking a breath." I really thought this would be much easier. Roxanne is attractive and I understand you must have that reaction by others in public when they see her, I know how human males can be, They only have one thing on their minds don't they?" Joseph smiled uncomfortably. "But really, Sir, I wasn't …" Joseph didn't want to say "undressing her". Because, even the words embarrassed him.
"Excuse me." Emrys said in the obviously uncomfortable pause."I know how human males can be?" Emrys asked rudely. "Are you not a human male?"
Joseph reddened again and his hand went to his mouth realizing he must be more careful. Roxanne thought his embarrassment made him even more adorable. He was no movie star. She could see that. She smiled watching him struggle with her father.
"Did I say that?" Joseph asked. Directing the question with his eyes to Emrys but he meant it for Roxanne. He desperately wanted to look at her again but after her dad's embarrassing accusation he feared she would think he was doing exactly what her father suggested.
"You did say that." Roxanne giggled. " Do you not consider yourself ," She paused searching for the right word. "not human?"
"And you don't have to be afraid to look at me." She assured him. And his gaze became all hers. " My father says things before he speaks." Roxanne said.
"Before he speaks?" Joseph asked completely lost to her. She giggled again sending shivers through him. Had Joseph not been so desperate to impress Roxanne's Dad he would have spun around like a lunatic on a mountain top and broke into song at that moment and it reflected in his eyes. Capturing Roxanne further into a web of what she could have never imagined and catapulting Emrys further towards the fury he intended for this boy.
"And?" Emrys said reminding the boy that he was there.
"Oh, yes, sir." Joseph forced himself to appear to look at Emrys again but his eyes darted to the side toward Roxanne intermittently. "There's a carnival in town, sir." Joseph said. "My mom wanted to meet you." Joseph smiled like a little boy with a bouquet of dandelions for his first girl friend.
"Me?" Emrys asked surprised.
"No, sir. Not you, I meant Roxanne of coarse." He said and struggled not to turn back to look at Roxanne when he heard her giggle at his mistake.
"She wants to meet Roxanne, of coarse." He said hoping to steady the direction of this conversation."You told your mom about me?" Roxanne asked. Joseph was glad to have another reason to look at her.
"Of coarse. And she wants to meet you at the carnival tonight.." He said.
"How do you know each other?" Emrys asked.
"The library dad." Roxanne answered quickly. "I tripped in the library today and would have hit my head on a shelf except Joseph happened to be there and caught me."
"I see." Emrys said digesting it all."And now this boy who can't even comb his hair thinks you are fair game for dating? And wants me to believe his mother wants to meet you at a carnival? What's wrong with this picture?" Emrys asked snidely.
"My mother works at the carnival sir." Joseph told him wondering why Emrys wouldn't like his hair.
"We travel with the carnival, sir." " We're all like a family there really. I grew up there. Well, not just there where it is now of coarse but with the carnival I mean and Mom will be there tonight and wants to meet Roxanne and read her palm and stuff."
"No!" Emrys answered."We don't participate in the occult. That's occult. It's not a game for us. So the answer is no you can go away now and leave us alone. And, don't bother coming back!" Emrys said sternly as he placed his hand on Roxanne's shoulder and gave her a gentle tug away from the door so he could close it.Roxanne resisted and stepped closer to the screen door.
"Please sir." Joseph pleaded."I'm sure my mom and I would agree with you. Mom reminds me all the time that occultish things and dark magic is forbidden to humans. I nor she would ever presume to…"
Upon hearing the attempted explanation, Emrys grabbed Roxanne's shoulder firmly and yanked her backward from the doorway. She lost her balance and fell over her fathers foot striking her head sharply on the floor. In a moment too quick for Emrys to see, Joseph was inside helping Roxanne to her feet.
"Are you alright?" Joseph asked her while he examined the back of her head and relieved there was no external injury. She nodded silently embarrassed. When Joseph was sure Roxanne was alright he turned his gaze and glared into Emrys eyes. Emrys could see nothing but boiling blue. "Don't ever hurt her again. Ever." Joseph said then took a deep breath and became a nervous boy again.
Trying to dispel the guilt Joseph had just sent into his heart. Emrys turned away from Joseph. Familiarity struck him again and he struggled to remember when had he seen a gaze just like that before?
"Are you really alright, Roxanne?" Joseph asked again.
"Get out of my house!" Emrys commanded sternly.
Joseph obeyed but only as far as the screen door. He turned back to watch Emrys slam the front door in his face. So, Joseph opened the screen door and put his ear to the inner front door.
"When did you decide you could start physically abusing me, Dad?" Roxanne screamed."Obviously I would be safer with a stranger than with my own father! And what's wrong with that picture Dad?" She emphasized the word "that". Roxanne stormed from the living room and into her bedroom and slammed her door shut. Then, she looked out her window hoping against hope that Joseph hadn't left. She was more than pleased to see him listening through the front door and giggled. When her bedroom door opened again she was dressed in the only dress she ever owned, an emerald green dress with an iridescent sheen she found in the thrift store some time ago without her father's knowledge. She liked it because it brought out the red in her hair which she thought, was her most becoming characteristic even with her freckles which she hated until she saw Joseph's freckles today. Besides that, she that dress proved to herself that she was indeed girl instead of just some lump. Emrys never allowed her to wear dresses or makeup or anything that would revealed herself as female.
Roxanne discovered her father sitting on the couch rocking back and forth with his arms around his chest, "Like a lunatic." She thought, glad Joseph didn't see this. This behavior of Emrys' had been increasing in frequency of late and worsened with stress which was one reason she never resisted his moods, until now.
"He needs his medication increased" she comforted herself with as she chose her words. "I'm going." She said and noticed the bloody bandage on his right wrist was. Further indication of his stress level. The bandage protected an unhealed wound, which resulted from being struck by a car during his childhood. The other result was his mental illness, secondary to a massive head injury. The wrist bled in times when he was the most stressed and the rocking made Roxanne feel angry. "You're bleeding again Dad. This is not something to get upset about. You can't keep me caged up here like I'm your pet or something. I'm going to the carnival and I promise to be back at a reasonable time and he is not going to hurt me dad. He's different. I can tell." She said feeling bolder now than usual because Joseph was at the door listening and she hoped he could hear her.
Emrys looked at her. He hadn't realized that Roxanne had grown into womanhood and found himself rather taken by her beauty."You're very…" He struggled uncomfortably. He wanted to say the word beautiful but it caught in his mind somewhere.
"You look very pretty." He settled on saying and he actually smiled. Roxanne's heart softened slightly toward him.
"I don't really." She said, fishing for another rare compliment from her Dad. "Yes," He smiled again.
"You do. You are very…" He inhaled. "I can say it." He told himself in a struggle he couldn't understand. "Go on and be the man" he told himself."Beautiful!" The word came out rather loud and rigid but Roxanne accepted with a smile.
"Roxanne…" He said wanting also to tell her that he loved her. But that was unthinkable for him. The words stuck in that same sticky place in his mind and when that happened he only wanted to sit and rock. His wrist smarted. Except for Roxanne's blue eyes which were her mother's, she was the exact image of the woman in his nightmares. He knew they were just nightmares, part of his illness since childhood, but he couldn't divorce himself from the fact that Roxanne had become the exact image of the woman in his dreams, except that is, for her eyes. She had her mother's blue eyes, not the vivid green eyes. "Like the color of her dress." Emrys realized to his discomfort.
"Her eyes were green, green not blue" he began to repeat in his mind over and over. In the place where things stick.Roxanne recognized the look on her father's face now. He had slipped into his inner world again and began to rock back and forth..
"I'll be home Dad." She said giving him up again and she left.