Editorial Dec/Jan

And we, who probably spent most of our childhood not really believing that there could ever be a turn-of-the-century year 2000 are nearly a decade into it. Back then, in my childish thinking, I remember wondering if things would be different if we saw the other side of it, and they are, but not profoundly. Change is usually slow and subtle, with small bursts now and then that cause a momentary jolt to the routine, but then even the change becomes what we consider "normal."Using the Hinkson family in this "for instance," 70 years ago, Mom and Dad were kids. 50 years ago, Mom and Dad Hinkson were still a young married couple with young children. 30 years ago, they were young grandparents to the offspring of three of their married children. 20 years ago they retired to Florida. 10 years ago saw their grandchildren starting families. In with the additions of people, along the way we've had to face the last day of folks we knew from childhood as the scene scrolls across time and the seasons continue to cycle. We passed through our childhoods, experienced being young married couples with little ones, watched our children get married and have their own children. Bobby heads and Teri Lyn pulls the caboose of the train of Hinkson grandchildren. On the other side, Billy hit the ground running 6 months before Bobby and Noah John has a long way to adulthood since he's only 3 this year. It's a longer span, but there just aren't as many names to remember on my genetic side, besides the fact that Jeff and I contributed most of them!So we were kids once. Then we married, and got used to it. Then the children came and we grew used to the rhythm of a child or children. Some of us have the privilege of being used to the rhythm of having grandchildren around or at least in our consciousness always and in our routines sporadically. And here I am on that often used theme of time marching on, tick by tick and day by day, seeming to speed up as I grow older, just like I heard older folks saying when I was young and time seemed to stretch forever.Speaking of time, it's rushing by and the clock tells me I have to find a phone booth to change into my Super Nurse costume. Don't worry, I don't believe a word of it - it's only a joke we use around here when we're busy and running from one thing to the other, changing clothes to fit the need. Mary has her dance costumes, Katie has her dog-caring costumes, and I have my people helping costumes (better known, as Katie's are, as scrubs). Believe me, I pray often to grasp His wisdom - He who spread out the heavens with His own hand and established the earth - as I work in what I still feel is a good profession with folks in varying degrees of need in my own community.If we have the privilege of experiencing 2009, I hope it's a good one for all of you!

Super James #13, the continuing story...

Mark Snot was the richest guy in New York. His four daughters raised cats that out-stank all others. They were known for their personalities and their price tags. Each one of their kittens sold for a small sum of six thousand, plus shipping and handling. The kitten came with a birth certificate, a house, a brush, cat shampoo and a cat bath tub, a personal feline pedicure kit, and cat clothes. Amazingly they actually sold. Like fish-food for starving fishes. So this would have to be the place that P.T. and his gang would strike next!
The thing for me to do was catch them in the act of the catnapping. Maybe I could even catch it on film! Then I would anonymously leave the video with the police and everything would be fixed! A little piece of the world put to rights.
I flew to the Snot Mansion and patrolled the roof. The sky was darkening in the east, with the sunset sprawled on the west horizon as the crickets began to sing. First it was just light chirping and then they began their full-out balled, the sounds twisting and weaving into and out of each other like a carefully woven shawl. It was so beautiful I could have cried.
But then it stopped.
Not a peep did the crickets make as I crept to the edge of the roof. Not a sound as I peered over. Nothing but silence as I saw three dark forms slinking across the lawn.
It was then that I began to realize my calling. I flew down close to P.T. and his gang and after adjusting the video camera I had borrowed from Donna, in my mouth I began to film them walking up the Snot Mansion. The joys of getting angles and the right lighting really appealed to me, and I found that I was meant to film movies.
But the only problem was that I was so caught up in the adventure of filming my first-ever movie that I forgot where I was going and crashed into a hedge.

The Twenty Commandments

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walkahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just prettymuch leave me the hell alone.
2 . It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
3. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
4. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Poem- 'Ed'

The actions of my neighbor Ed I simply can�t condone;
Each day his gives his dog a kiss and throws his wife a bone.
The actions of his wife, I fear, are very little better;
She dreams all day of things to buy and hopes that Ed will let her.
The truth of the whole thing matter is, his wife don�t give a heck;
She lets him kiss and kiss the dog while she cashes his pay check.

Suzie's Snow Story

Colorado News
Howdy ,
Charlie and I had such an eventful weekend that I feel inclined to tell you all about it. As I think I mentioned, we were house and puppy sitting for a friend out in Stagecoach, which is a little lake town about 20 – 30 minutes away from Steamboat. It is a pretty drive in the day time, but at night the winding roads and “passes” (I wasn’t aware that this just means that a road is winding and really steep) are a bit treacherous. We navigated them Friday and Saturday thanks to my having to return to work in Steamboat on both days. We crept along the curvy parts gingerly as they are dangerous and I am in need of new tires (actually that is the main reason that I was doing the house sitting.) On Sunday, after I spent another 5 hours finishing the 7.5 hours of cleaning the house Charlie and I said a sad farewell to the toy poodles and PJ the cat, loaded up the Pathfinder with our turkey day leftovers, and heading back to Steamboat to relax a bit and maybe grocery shop. I asked Charlie to drive as I was tired and my joints hurt from all the stairs and bending to clean….plus I think he is a bit more comfortable driving in the snow to be honest. As we came down what I now know as Yellow Jacket Pass Charlie lost control of the Pathfinder. What I didn’t see at the time was 1. he didn’t have his seatbelt on 2. he was trying to not only not run off the road, but not run into what looked like a Ford Explorer that was in the ditch that we were heading for without passengers. He managed to avoid the Explorer, but we ran off the road and knowing that most of that drive is a couple thousand feet higher than Steamboat I thought for sure we were goners. I have learnt that I do not scream when in the face of what I thought at the time was certain death or manglement. Charlie reached his arm over to me in a mother-ish movement when we left the road with all four tires sliding sideways. As I watched the very small tree line approaching I looked over at Charlie and suddenly the SUV stopped. We were leaning so drastically to the left that Charlie and I sat quite still for a moment as we both thought the smallest move would knock us over the edge of a huge cliff. All we could see were the branches squished against the car. (there is a picture attached.) I tried to calmly call a tow truck once we realized that we were not going to fall off the mountain. It took about 6 friggin’ phone calls, but I finally got someone who knew where we were at and was heading out to us. Charlie and I sat in the car with the windows rolled trying to keep the heat in for about and hour. Charlie was wearing his slippers and a pair of shorts as we didn’t really intend on going anywhere but home. Neither one of us is harmed thanks to Charlie taking that turn at 25 mph. Just over an hour into the ordeal Charlie got out of the car to check out the damage and a Sherriff’s car pulled up. They assessed the situation, reported that we were not harmed, and offered for us to sit in the back of their SUV. I must confess it was the most comfortable back seat of a cop car that I have ever sat in….and if you remember my youth that is saying a fair piece. The tow guy was a moron and drove right past us taking up an additional two hours or so before he returned. His comment in regards to that was, “Well I saw the sheriffs car and you all standing outside, but I didn’t know it was you because you didn’t wave.” My personal opinion was that he was so stoned that when he saw the sheriff car he drove away to “freshen up” before returning. Once they pulled the car out the sheriff started it up and it squealed like it always does in the snow. The sheriff that was training the other sheriff was next to me and said, “Well she is running but your belt is squealing.” I responded that like my vehicle did not like the snow. Long story short Charlie drove us home and the pathfinder only has a few scratches on her. Charlie pulled a couple pieces that go to my bumper out of the snow. He then jumped in the driver seat again and drove us slowly home.
So since I am a camera freak as always I took some pictures from my cell phone and have attached those for you. Charlie and I are splitting the cost for some nice Blizzak snow tires for my pathfinder as well. I should have them on by the beginning of next week and am not driving outside of town until I have those on my car.
Sending lots of love from snowy Co,
Suzie Q

In the Beginning, by Mary Strong

In the beginning there walked in a garden two men. They had been debating for hours if it was better to starve the rich and give to the poor, or starve the poor and bathe the rich in low-monthly-rate-mortgages.
These two men had been made by God to make the world an insane-er place.
And God saw that it was politically correct.
And the men feasted on the green of many tax-payers for the time until elections. But when they saw that they were going to have to choose a candidate for their elections, strife came between them. Thy disagreed on who should starve (the rich or the poor) and they quarreled amongst themselves.
And God saw that they could bring no more peaceful taxes to earth so He turned one man (starve the poor) into an elephant hoping furtively that the man and the elephant would have peace between them.
But he took a tribe of hippies and sent them against the elephant saying: "Kill him and you may feast on his flesh."
When God saw that the elephant was to be destroyed he grew angry and threw his THE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO TAXES out the window bellowing: "You humans are such a pain in the ass!" and turned the man (starve the rich) into a donkey.
Now when the elephant saw that the donkey was smaller than him, he began to scheme.
And then God was mad at both of them and said: "If ye will refrain from killing your sorry butts, I will give unto you all the lands of America to pollute with Political Shit."
And the elephant and the donkey saw that it was all for the greater boredom and agreed.
And God saw that his Popovers were done and went to eat.
And so Democrat (the donkey) and Republican (the elephant) went their separate ways in the world to make everyone's life as hard as possible.
And they saw that it was good.
The End.