January 29, 2009
Editorial Dec/Jan
And we, who probably spent most of our childhood not really believing that there could ever be a turn-of-the-century year 2000 are nearly a decade into it. Back then, in my childish thinking, I remember wondering if things would be different if we saw the other side of it, and they are, but not profoundly. Change is usually slow and subtle, with small bursts now and then that cause a momentary jolt to the routine, but then even the change becomes what we consider "normal."Using the Hinkson family in this "for instance," 70 years ago, Mom and Dad were kids. 50 years ago, Mom and Dad Hinkson were still a young married couple with young children. 30 years ago, they were young grandparents to the offspring of three of their married children. 20 years ago they retired to Florida. 10 years ago saw their grandchildren starting families. In with the additions of people, along the way we've had to face the last day of folks we knew from childhood as the scene scrolls across time and the seasons continue to cycle. We passed through our childhoods, experienced being young married couples with little ones, watched our children get married and have their own children. Bobby heads and Teri Lyn pulls the caboose of the train of Hinkson grandchildren. On the other side, Billy hit the ground running 6 months before Bobby and Noah John has a long way to adulthood since he's only 3 this year. It's a longer span, but there just aren't as many names to remember on my genetic side, besides the fact that Jeff and I contributed most of them!So we were kids once. Then we married, and got used to it. Then the children came and we grew used to the rhythm of a child or children. Some of us have the privilege of being used to the rhythm of having grandchildren around or at least in our consciousness always and in our routines sporadically. And here I am on that often used theme of time marching on, tick by tick and day by day, seeming to speed up as I grow older, just like I heard older folks saying when I was young and time seemed to stretch forever.Speaking of time, it's rushing by and the clock tells me I have to find a phone booth to change into my Super Nurse costume. Don't worry, I don't believe a word of it - it's only a joke we use around here when we're busy and running from one thing to the other, changing clothes to fit the need. Mary has her dance costumes, Katie has her dog-caring costumes, and I have my people helping costumes (better known, as Katie's are, as scrubs). Believe me, I pray often to grasp His wisdom - He who spread out the heavens with His own hand and established the earth - as I work in what I still feel is a good profession with folks in varying degrees of need in my own community.If we have the privilege of experiencing 2009, I hope it's a good one for all of you!
Super James #13, the continuing story...
Mark Snot was the richest guy in New York. His four daughters raised cats that out-stank all others. They were known for their personalities and their price tags. Each one of their kittens sold for a small sum of six thousand, plus shipping and handling. The kitten came with a birth certificate, a house, a brush, cat shampoo and a cat bath tub, a personal feline pedicure kit, and cat clothes. Amazingly they actually sold. Like fish-food for starving fishes. So this would have to be the place that P.T. and his gang would strike next!
The thing for me to do was catch them in the act of the catnapping. Maybe I could even catch it on film! Then I would anonymously leave the video with the police and everything would be fixed! A little piece of the world put to rights.
I flew to the Snot Mansion and patrolled the roof. The sky was darkening in the east, with the sunset sprawled on the west horizon as the crickets began to sing. First it was just light chirping and then they began their full-out balled, the sounds twisting and weaving into and out of each other like a carefully woven shawl. It was so beautiful I could have cried.
But then it stopped.
Not a peep did the crickets make as I crept to the edge of the roof. Not a sound as I peered over. Nothing but silence as I saw three dark forms slinking across the lawn.
It was then that I began to realize my calling. I flew down close to P.T. and his gang and after adjusting the video camera I had borrowed from Donna, in my mouth I began to film them walking up the Snot Mansion. The joys of getting angles and the right lighting really appealed to me, and I found that I was meant to film movies.
But the only problem was that I was so caught up in the adventure of filming my first-ever movie that I forgot where I was going and crashed into a hedge.
The thing for me to do was catch them in the act of the catnapping. Maybe I could even catch it on film! Then I would anonymously leave the video with the police and everything would be fixed! A little piece of the world put to rights.
I flew to the Snot Mansion and patrolled the roof. The sky was darkening in the east, with the sunset sprawled on the west horizon as the crickets began to sing. First it was just light chirping and then they began their full-out balled, the sounds twisting and weaving into and out of each other like a carefully woven shawl. It was so beautiful I could have cried.
But then it stopped.
Not a peep did the crickets make as I crept to the edge of the roof. Not a sound as I peered over. Nothing but silence as I saw three dark forms slinking across the lawn.
It was then that I began to realize my calling. I flew down close to P.T. and his gang and after adjusting the video camera I had borrowed from Donna, in my mouth I began to film them walking up the Snot Mansion. The joys of getting angles and the right lighting really appealed to me, and I found that I was meant to film movies.
But the only problem was that I was so caught up in the adventure of filming my first-ever movie that I forgot where I was going and crashed into a hedge.
The Twenty Commandments
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walkahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just prettymuch leave me the hell alone.
2 . It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
3. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
4. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2 . It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
3. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
4. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Poem- 'Ed'
The actions of my neighbor Ed I simply can�t condone;
Each day his gives his dog a kiss and throws his wife a bone.
The actions of his wife, I fear, are very little better;
She dreams all day of things to buy and hopes that Ed will let her.
The truth of the whole thing matter is, his wife don�t give a heck;
She lets him kiss and kiss the dog while she cashes his pay check.
Each day his gives his dog a kiss and throws his wife a bone.
The actions of his wife, I fear, are very little better;
She dreams all day of things to buy and hopes that Ed will let her.
The truth of the whole thing matter is, his wife don�t give a heck;
She lets him kiss and kiss the dog while she cashes his pay check.
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